End of a Love

I don't know how this goes
But I don't give a fuck.
Yeh you don't give a fuck.
I can see that, feel that and hear that in the deafening silence.
The noise of plastic being torn.
Well good bye my love.
Because I give a fuck.
I feel.
I have never let anyone come
In me.
Never let anyone near me as I did you.
I never was careless enough to dream.
Till I met you.
And now I never will.
I will let you go my love.
Find happiness.
Marry a woman who makes you happy, have kids.
Name them Iris and Isaac.
For I have no need of those names anymore my love.
For I am a woman who cannot be loved.
For I will not dare dream again.
I know now where I belong.
And it isn't beside you my love.
I am sorry for the wasted times.
I am sorry for all the fucks not given.
But most of all I am sorry for  I am a disappointment.
I am sorry for all I am.
I tried my love. I tried to take this hideous joke of a woman away from this word but I failed , entirely, even at that.
I will keep trying my love. I promise.
Not that you'll give a fuck.
But I'll try all the same.
I hope one day we never meet.
And I wish you rainbows and laughter my love.
Farewell.
Forget that you loved me once.
Forget that your heart and your brain told you in unison , oh yes.
Just don't give a fuck my love.
Goodbye.

Let me

Let me cry alone
As I am alone
I am loved
But not the way I want to
Story of my life
From the first fuck to the last
And they all do it
Saying I care too much for you
So I am not right for you
To say I DO
But I'm just right for that fuck

Her Dream

The whore dreams
Every day and every night
When she's awake and while asleep
Being rocked
On a dingy bed
Being carried to an eternal pit
She dreams
Of love
Support
Children
And laughter
Colours of a rainbow
And smells of a home
And then she wakes up
To a lustful face
Hovering above her
And she closes her eyes inside and out
Let herself be rocked
On her dingy bed
Tears streaming down her face
For all things that are just dreams
So so far away...........

Love

Honey
Remember
As your memories tear you apart
About the children we dreamt about
Rainbows and laughter
Remember how I felt
Inside and out
The taste of me in the morning
How I smelled like vanilla, roses and hope
Remember
You used to love me
And remember
I love you

How are you?

You don't feel love for me
You say
First thing in the morning
I listen to you
Nothing new
Then you ask me how I am?
I listen to the question
I want to tell you I feel despondent
Abandoned
Over and over and over again
But what use is there to say what hurts the most to an unfeeling ghost
I say, I'm good
Nothing new
Life continues

Sick

That moment, when you realise
That you are living a lie
That you are not at all fine
That you hurt
Every cell in your body hurt
That you are grey and hollow
Underneath the glossy sheath
Of lip gloss and painted nails
You feel sick.

Mistress

Human heart
Is an organ of fire
Amongst a room full of strangers we stand catching each other's eyes.
Lust and love
What is love? When does it begin? Where does it end?
Is the act of love a possibility without love?
For the mistress of him, making love without love was death.
She dies everyday...........

Use me

Use me
for I am letting you
I walk in to a room
and I am Minerva
the bright eyed
When the doors close
in the wake of the night,
in pitch black of an undying heart
I become nothing.
A jinn
nothing but a faint energy
so afraid
so insecure
so begging for a scrap of love.
Use me for I let you.
Use me happily.
Use me to spy on your enemy.
Use me to score points with that person you are jealous of.
Use me to get some relief
from that load trying to burst the seams of your jeans.
Use me for I am your daughter.
Use me for I am your sister and friend.
Use me for I am the madame host of this brothel of pleasures.
Scratch at my skin till it bleeds.
Till I finally feel the pain for pain is all that is left for me.
Use me for I let you love me
for I am in a dream of make believe love.
Break me.
Break me in to thousand pieces.
Break my soft flesh that only you can touch
for it will never see the light of day again,
covered by this thick hide.
So come,
use me,
mount
me, I the
goddess,
bitch

Stolen Moments

What you feel is real; every stolen moment we spend in each others arms.
I see it in your eyes.
I feel it in the energy of us, consuming one another.

The almost magnetic pull, deep within me.
The wanting to possess the skins of each other.
The need to crawl underneath, to shudder with pleasure.
Time has new meanings here inside our black hole.

Dead meat on a cold slab

She has the most amazing mind
And when she enters a room
All eyes fall on her voluptuous, curvaceous body
Lithe with an ever so undetectable skip of a 5year old.
At night she stares at her phone
Waiting to be remembered
To be soothed to sleep with I love you's and whatnots...
And she hears the noise of plastic being torn instead.
Disinterest, clear as day
In the dead of the night.
She's so used to these cycles
Of being wanted physically
But being rejected psychologically.
All of them wanting a fuck
But being very through at not being fucked.
Still hoping
To be seen
She lives.
Alone in bed, other times
She knows she's just dead meat on a cold slab
Impossible to be loved
As a woman
Ideal for consumption otherwise.
She dreams of death.

End of an Affair.....

it was the end
she knew the minute
he walked out the door
the long battle fought was
finally
over,
she had lost!
time now for her
to put the dress back on
touch on her makeup 
step in to the world
with a new mask
later
she will need to wash the sheets
to bleed 
their sweat out
the tastes
the brief lightning memories
redefine ins and outs
but for now
she needed it etched on her skin
he will not return
for the burial
of her broken heart
after the end
of an affair.