I hardly know you.. now

I’ve seen you.
I’ve seen your smile.
I’ve seen your anger.
I’ve seen your tears.

I’ve seen you.
I’ve seen you in light.
With all your flaws.
Standing bright & tall!

I’ve seen you in the dark,
With all my senses fighting
To compensate  for the useless pair of eyes,
To know your  ridges & valleys
As the back of my palms.
To remember when you're gone!

I’ve seen you.
When you were about to reach
That place of ecstasy.
I’ve watched you as you open that door
& step inside
alone.

I have seen you.
Seen glimpse of what I thought is your heart!
A beautiful creature running wild & free!

And I DID know you
Then.

But now you’ve closed the door behind
Leaving me on the verge
To come.

Shifted your heart to a strange landscape
I could never reach.

I DO see you now
In my mind
A stranger I hardly know!

Hues of White! Hues of Life!

Austere white
Against the crystal blue of
the morning sky.
Little wings
fluttering on
Insearch of the lush green,
Hues of red & purple & orange & blue
& yellow & green
& oh so so many colours!

Insearch from birth,
Dreams passed from generation to generation.
In threads of life
so fragile!

& yet evey flutter
leading
further
deeper
in to a jungle
so overwhelmed with shades of gray & black!!!

Where is it!??
Where is that distant throb, that calls me?!
Where is that promised garden!?????

It pains!
It pains to toss about!
With no end in sight!!

Oh little one!
I know you might feel lost now!
Yet futter on!!

In the heart of that dull gray,
Is the secret garden you look for.
Hiding just
behing the corner!
Flourishing , nurtured by hopes & dreams.
waiting!
& waiting for you to find
your dream!
& be at peace.

Your white becoming the hues you dream.
& so my little one, flutter on!
Flutter ON!

fumbling

I was fumbling in the stark day light
To find a connection that would keep me alive.

You were fumbling in the dead of night's dark
To find that hole to keep you hidden from life!

Nameless....

she cleans our school.
she's sent out to buy everything & anything.
from tampons to NaOH the school & it's UPPER echolon inhabitants are in need.
she is running in the morning!
she is running in the evening!
& then she gives a small bit of solace to her weary feet
on a dirty step
out of everyones eyes.
& then back to running!!


She is P*

But for most she does not have a name.

& MOST does not know that
once upon a time
not so long ago
she was a trained nurse.

with 12 years of experience behind her!
now choosing to be nameless
for she loves children.

for that one thing in life that she wants the most,
the one thing she can never have,
the thing which will complete her.

for she would do anything to be around
THAT thing
that makes her complete.

even when she knows
that
that completeness comes at a high price
called
namelessness!

TEXTs

TEXT RECEIVED:

Hey
I'm not gonna tell this again!
He doesn't need you!
He's got me!
Let go of him, he's mine!!

TEXT TO BE SENT:

Hey I AM soooo not going to tell THIS again!!
I DON'T NEED HIM!!
I don't need a good for nothing shadow of a man LIKE him!
Dwelling in a land haunted by glimpse of past lighting!
Who does not know what friendship, or love or caring
& last but not least
what it means to be human, ANYMORE!
I WILL not need him
even if I were desperate to get my LAST egg fertilised!
even if he's the last MALE on earth!!

& hey
I've already let him go
so so so long ago!

But let your young & crazy heart be warned!
He is no one's!
For he is not even HIS!

am I THAT invisible?? :'(

Hi Miss
Ane' I have a rash on my back
I don't know what to do
But it hurts day & night!
Miss, sweet Miss!
can you help me?
Miss??


Hello sir!
Ane' I've not eaten for days
Other than garbage.
Oh dear sir, you have no idea
How hard it is
To find a bit of water to drink
Sir can you help?
Sir??
Sir!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.............................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im down here!!
Am I truly that hard to see??!!
I'm looking at you
& my heart is about to burst!
& my eyes burn of a rain just about to fall!

Ane i know you little sirs & misses are busy
That you face the struggle of life as I do!
But please look at me!!
It takes only a second!!
& you will realise that more than food or water or medication......
What i really want is a tiny bit of LOVE!
Talk to me!
Notice me!

& I'll give you all I have to give
All that is precious to me
My love, my heart
The wag of my tail!

& My LIFE! I promise! I do!

Please please !
LOOK AT ME!!
PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!


AM I THAT INVISIBLE!!

Am I REALLY  that INVISIBLE!!!!!!!

image ~ WAPA

unpursued universe

early morning

on my hurried walk

to work

my eyes search for the moment

I see you.

I feel you do too.

and we trespass in to

one anothers

depths

for

a moment

a moment of connection

a moment of endless possibilities

a smile.

& then you are gone.

on your way to life

leaving

only a wisp of scent

of another universe of possibilities.

& then I’m gone

never

pursuing

That moment

Those possibilities……

words....

words
have a way
don't they!
of changing
their meaning
midway
at times,
have a way of pricking
until
it bleeds
??
words Do
have a way!!
Dont't they??

Screams Unheard!

When you call
A tiny voice
At the depths of my brain
Screams........
Please Keep on Talking!
Ah! If you ONLY knew How  I miss your voice!

But It never reaches
As far as the crappy "excuse my language,please!" mouth
& so

You end up saying good bye
Once more.
& I end up
Holding my tears & guarding my pride
Until once more
I break completely
& my crappy mouth SCREAMS
for help!!!

A bit MORE...

I asked you
Whom I was to you.

The answer

I still can not believe!!
I listened to
Without
Harming you
or
Your PRECIOUS car

OR
PUKING!

was,

A bit MORE than a friend
& a bit LESS than a girlfriend!

& then
I started to
Measure!!
To measure the BITS more & less!!

& you know what I've found out?

I was NOTHING to you

For if I were:

1) You would have seen
That you were
EVERYTHING
to me!!

2) & it doesn't have BITs or MOREs or LESSes; being a girlfriend!
It's EITHER full or it's nothing!!!

My Friend! :-,!!

I told you I need
someone like
a father
& You smiled.
I told you I need someone
like  a son,
You looked out the window
& shut THAT door tighter.
I said I need
someone
LIKE a husband
& You threw the key of your heart
To the depths of the ocean
we use to watch
rolling its waves
while you sing.
And
When
I told you
I need a friend
You turned to me and said
Now that I can BE.

And that
was the 1st time
You lied to me!

Blur

When I take
My glasses off
The world goes in a -6.75(plus a cylindrical difference) BLUR.
When I put them back
Again
The world goes
In an even greater BLUR.